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You keep waiting to feel like yourself again. You thought it would happen after the first few weeks. Or once you started sleeping more. Or once your body healed.
But here you are, months later, still wondering where you went.
You love your baby. You love parts of this new life. But there’s this quiet, uncomfortable truth you probably haven’t said out loud: you don’t really recognize yourself anymore.
It’s not just your body. It’s everything.
Your patience. Your energy. Your interests.
Your confidence. Your joy.
Even the way you think feels different.
What this can feel like
Sometimes it’s sadness that comes and goes. Sometimes it’s frustration that never really leaves. For some people, it’s numbness- like you’re moving through the day but not really in it.
You might find yourself saying, “I should be happy,” and then feeling guilty that you’re not.
You might scroll through photos of your old life and feel something twist in your stomach.
You might miss the version of you who had space to breathe, who could finish a thought, who didn’t feel pulled in every direction at once.
And then you judge yourself for missing her.
Why this happens
No one talks enough about how completely motherhood changes you. Not just your routine, but your identity.
Your brain rewires itself to keep another human alive.
Your hormones spike and crash.
Your relationships shift.
And in the middle of all of that, the world tells you to “enjoy every moment.”
But it’s hard to enjoy when you feel lost inside your own life.
That doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful or doing it wrong. It means your body and mind are still trying to catch up with everything that’s changed.
You haven’t disappeared
I know it feels like you’re gone, but you’re not. You’re still here, underneath all of it- underneath the fatigue, the worry, the constant giving.
You might not recognize her yet, but she’s there.
This version of you is different. She’s more stretched, more tender, maybe more tired. But she’s also growing into something new.
What might help
Start small.
Notice what helps you feel even a little bit more like yourself.
Maybe it’s taking a shower without rushing.
Maybe it’s being honest with a friend about how much you’re struggling.
Maybe it’s asking your partner to take the baby for a walk so you can just sit in silence.
Or maybe it’s talking to someone- a therapist, a doctor, someone who understands that you can love your baby and still feel completely overwhelmed.
At Bloom Psychotherapy, we help new parents find themselves again. We know how easy it is to lose sight of who you are in all the noise and pressure. We’ll help you make sense of what’s happening, find steadier ground, and start to feel like you again- not the old you, but the one who’s still becoming.
