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It feels like everyone is talking about narcissism these days. There are thousands of posts and videos telling you how to “spot a narcissist,” “protect your energy,” or “go no contact.” And while some of that content can be helpful, much of it misses the heart of what’s really going on.
Narcissism isn’t just about selfishness or manipulation. It’s not a label for anyone who’s hurt you. It’s a deeply rooted pattern- one that comes from a mix of personality, upbringing, attachment wounds, and the way someone learned to protect themselves emotionally.
The concern is that when we take this big topic and make it a meme or reel, we lose the nuance and completely water down the message,
What narcissism actually is
At its core, narcissism is about shame and fragility. People with strong narcissistic traits have learned to survive by building a kind of emotional armor. They rely on validation, control, and admiration to feel stable because deep down, their sense of self-worth is fragile.
They might come across as confident, but inside they often feel small, insecure, or unworthy.
That pain gets hidden under defensiveness, entitlement, and self-focus.
None of this excuses harmful behavior. But it does explain why some people hurt others without ever seeing or acknowledging the impact they have.
The harm it can cause
If you’ve been close to someone with narcissistic traits, you might know what it feels like to question your own reality. Conversations twist. Your feelings are dismissed. You start walking on eggshells to avoid conflict. You might find yourself apologizing for things you didn’t do, or slowly disappearing into someone else’s version of who you should be.
The pain of that can last long after the relationship ends.
The truth about “going no contact”
Online advice often skips straight to cutting people off. Sometimes, that’s necessary for safety and healing. But for others, life isn’t that simple- especially when the person involved is a parent, co-parent, or family member.
Boundaries don’t have to be all or nothing. Sometimes healing means finding distance emotionally even when contact continues physically. It means learning how to stay connected to yourself in the presence of someone who can’t meet you emotionally.
Healing from narcissistic relationships
Recovery isn’t about diagnosing the other person. It’s about reconnecting with yourself. It’s about rebuilding trust in your perceptions, learning to listen to your body again, and remembering what safety feels like.
Therapy can help you untangle what’s yours from what’s theirs, and start living from your own truth again.
At Bloom Psychotherapy, we work with people healing from difficult relationships, family dynamics, and emotional trauma. You can book an appointment online or connect with our Client Coordinator today to find the right fit for you.
You’re allowed to stop explaining yourself to people who aren’t ready to understand.
