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It’s one of the hardest questions you can ask yourself: Should we get a divorce?
By the time couples get here, they’re usually exhausted. The fights have blurred together. The silence in between has started to feel normal. Maybe you’re not sure when things started to change. You just know they have.
What this question really means
When someone brings this up in therapy, they’re rarely asking if they want to leave. They’re asking if the relationship can still grow. If the connection they once had can be repaired.
Sometimes, it’s less about divorce and more about not wanting to live like this anymore.
You might still love your partner but not like who you’ve both become.
You might feel invisible, unseen, or like roommates instead of partners.
Or maybe you’re carrying resentment so heavy you can barely stand to talk about it.
Before you decide
Before you make any big decisions, slow down.
Ask yourself:
What’s not working, and have we truly talked about it?
Have we tried therapy, or did we hope things would fix themselves?
Am I shutting down to protect myself, or am I already done trying?
It’s okay not to know. It’s okay to be scared of both staying and leaving.
Therapy can help you explore those questions without pressure- to understand what’s really happening underneath the conflict and what each of you needs to feel safe again.
If you decide to work on it
Repair takes time and honesty. It means both people showing up differently, not perfectly. It means learning to talk again, to listen, to hold anger and care at the same time.
If one of you is unsure, that’s okay. Therapy isn’t only for couples who know what they want, it’s for people who are still figuring it out.
At Bloom Psychotherapy, we help couples pause the noise, rebuild communication, and decide what healing could look like, together or apart.
If you’re ready to talk about what’s next, book online or reach out to our Client Coordinator today to get connected.
