Do I have Postpartum Depression?

You’ve probably Googled this late at night while you’re up trying to sleep, but not. Again. Maybe while feeding your baby, maybe after another round of tears. You’re wondering: Is this normal? What’s wrong with me? Am I okay? 

The truth is, postpartum depression doesn’t always look like what we see in the movies or on TV. It’s often quiet, more subtle, even well-hidden. Many people hide it by saying, “I’m fine”, by over-performing (anyone else constantly cleaning, planning, or working to keep control? That’s how it showed up for me!). But of course it can also look like not being able to do the things that used to make you feel good (getting out to see friends, getting out of bed in the morning, and even showering included). It can feel like exhaustion, disconnection, irritability, or even rage, more than deep sadness.

As a perinatal therapist, I often hear women say, “But it’s not that bad,” or “I should just be grateful”, or “I just need to…”. These thoughts are so common, and they often stop people from reaching out. But postpartum depression isn’t about failing to cope. It’s about what your mind and body are trying to manage after one of the biggest emotional and physical transitions in life.

What postpartum depression can actually feel like

For some, it’s crying easily or feeling emotionally flat. For others, it’s irritability, anxiety, guilt, or not recognizing yourself. You might feel immense love for your baby but feel disconnected from them. You might feel on edge all the time. Or you might feel numb, like you’re watching your life from the outside.

Postpartum depression can start any time in the first year after birth, not just in the early weeks, and it doesn’t mean you’re not a good parent. It means your brain and nervous system are overwhelmed and need care and support.

Why it happens

There’s no single cause. Hormonal shifts, family history, lack of sleep (or pure exhaustion), loss of identity, past infertility or loss, medical complications, a traumatic birth, and even social isolation can all play a part.

And while society and culture (and maybe even our partners, family, or friends) tell us that this stage should be “the happiest time of your life,” that pressure can actually make things worse. For most of us, when what’s actually happening in reality doesn’t match the expectation we have, shame can creep in.

What you can do next

If you’re wondering whether what you’re experiencing could be postpartum depression, it’s a sign you’re already paying attention to yourself and how you’re feeling. Something in you knows this doesn’t feel right, and you’re open to understanding why, even if you don’t have the answer yet.

You don’t need a diagnosis before getting help. And you don’t need to keep googling your symptoms to “make sure”. Talking to a therapist, your doctor, or even someone who listens without judgment can make a huge difference.

Therapy can help you untangle what’s happening, and to separate what’s yours from what’s the exhaustion, hormones, or trauma. It can help you rebuild trust in yourself and find your footing again. It can help you feel heard, or if you’re not ready to talk, held. You don’t have to hold this alone.  

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone.

Our team at Bloom Psychotherapy understands the nuances of postpartum transitions and emotional overwhelm. We’re moms who have been there, and we’re also specialised therapists, here to walk alongside you. If taking the first step feels hard, we’ll try and make it easy for you.  Click here to book an appointment right now, or send our Client Coordinator a message, and let her help connect you with the fight fit.  

It’s not your fault, and with support, you will feel better.