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Returning to work after maternity leave is a monumental step for parents that often comes with a multitude of emotions, logistical challenges, and personal adjustments. As a therapist specializing in life transitions, I've walked alongside many individuals navigating this pivotal period, witnessing the complex emotions ranging from excitement and anticipation, to trepidation, uncertainty, anxiety, and/or guilt that accompany this journey. These conflicting emotions can create a sense of internal turmoil, as you wrestle with questions of identity, purpose, and fulfillment.
If you’re a parent returning to work, you may experience a profound sense of conflict between your professional aspirations or need to work (have you seen the price of groceries lately?!) and your desire to be more present at home or less busy and divided. It's crucial to recognize and validate these emotions, understanding that they are a natural and very common response to the myriad of changes and challenges that come with parenthood and career responsibilities.
Guilt:
Guilt is a common emotion experienced by many individuals as they contemplate returning to work after maternity leave. You may feel guilty about leaving your child in someone else's care, worried that you will miss out on precious moments and milestones. Additionally, you may feel guilty about pursuing your own career aspirations, fearing that you are neglecting your parental responsibilities, or that you won’t be able to show up the way you want to. It's essential to acknowledge and validate these feelings of guilt, recognizing that they are a natural response to the challenges of balancing parenthood and career, and that they don’t mean anything about you as a parent.
Anxiety:
Another prevalent emotion that can arise during the transition back to work is anxiety. You may experience anxiety about how your child will adjust to daycare or childcare, worrying about their well-being and safety in your absence. You may also feel anxious about juggling the demands of work and parenting, concerned about your ability to meet expectations in both domains. You may also worry about finding amazing childcare, and being able to secure a space in the setting that feels most desirable to you. It's essential to address these anxieties openly and honestly, seeking support from loved ones and professionals as needed.
Sadness:
Sadness is a common emotion experienced by many individuals as they move away from the uninterrupted time spent with their child during maternity leave. You may mourn the loss of these precious moments and struggle with the realization that you will need to readjust your priorities and routines to accommodate your return to work. It's important to allow space for these feelings of sadness and grief, acknowledging the significance of the transition and honouring the emotions that arise.
Practical Considerations and Challenges:
Beyond the emotional upheaval, returning to work after maternity leave entails a host of practical considerations and logistical hurdles. Balancing the demands of professional responsibilities with the needs of a newborn or young child can feel overwhelming at times (especially in the beginning!). Negotiating flexible work arrangements, managing childcare logistics, and navigating the transition back into the workplace are just a few of the challenges that you may face. It's essential to approach these practical considerations with patience, flexibility, and a willingness to adapt to the evolving landscape of parenthood and career. It’s also really important to recognize that nothing is permanent and that while transitions are always challenging, most of the time things improve quickly.
Strategies for Finding Balance and Fulfillment:
- Prioritize Self-Compassion: Embrace self-compassion as a guiding principle during this transition. Acknowledge and validate your feelings, recognizing that it's okay to experience a range of emotions as you navigate this journey. Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, and let go of perfectionism and self-judgment.
- Seek Support: Lean on your support network for encouragement, validation, and practical assistance. Whether it's a partner, family member, friend, or therapist, having someone to share your joys and struggles with can provide invaluable support during this time of transition. Don't hesitate to reach out for help when you need it.
- Establish Clear Boundaries: Set boundaries between work and home life to maintain a sense of balance and prevent burnout. Clearly communicate your needs and priorities with your employer, advocating for flexible work arrangements that support your well-being and family responsibilities. Designate specific times for work and family activities, and strive to maintain separation between the two domains.
- Create a Supportive Work Environment: Foster open communication with your employer and colleagues about your needs as a working parent. Advocate for supportive policies and practices, such as lactation accommodations, flexible scheduling, and childcare benefits. Seek out resources and employee assistance programs that can provide additional support and guidance during this transition.
- Plan for Childcare: Research and explore childcare options that align with your values, preferences, and budget. Whether it's daycare, a nanny, or family care, choose a childcare provider that provides a safe, nurturing environment for your child. Involve your partner in the decision-making process and work together to create a childcare plan that meets the needs of your family.
- Practice Self-Care: Prioritize self-care activities that nourish your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Make time for activities that bring you joy, relaxation, and fulfillment outside of work and parenting responsibilities. Engage in regular exercise, practice mindfulness and relaxation techniques, and cultivate hobbies and interests that rejuvenate your spirit.
- Celebrate Milestones: Take time to celebrate the milestones and achievements, both big and small, that you and your child experience along the way. Whether it's your baby's first smile, a solid night of sleep, or a productive day at work, acknowledge and celebrate these moments as a testament to your resilience and strength.
Returning to work after maternity leave is a multifaceted journey that requires emotional resilience, practical planning, and self-compassion. Remember, you are not alone in this journey, and there is support and guidance available to help you find balance and fulfillment in both your professional and personal life. Embrace the return as an opportunity for growth, learning, and continued self-discovery, and trust in your ability to thrive amidst the challenges and joys of parenthood and career.
If you are feeling the range of emotions as you navigate returning to work, know you're not alone. We are currently accepting new clients (and we have a flexible, virtual schedule so that one part of this transition can feel easy!). Book now
