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If you’re in the middle of IVF, you probably already know it’s not just about science and timing. It’s about waiting, hoping, grieving, and trying again. It’s about living in two emotional worlds at once- optimism and fear, side by side.
People might tell you to “stay positive.” And sure, you can try this for a while. But IVF asks you to do something that is pretty impossible: keep showing up for something you can’t control at all.
What makes IVF so hard
IVF isn’t just physically demanding. It’s emotionally relentless.
You live appointment to appointment, blood draw to phone call. You get attached and then have to protect yourself from disappointment. You manage your schedule, your hormones, your work, your relationship- and all while rest of the world keeps moving like nothing’s happening.
The waiting, the uncertainty, the financial strain, and the isolation all add up. Living your life in two-week increments becomes excruciating.
Even when people mean well, it’s easy to feel unseen. Comments like, “It’ll happen when it’s meant to,” or “Just relax,” can cut super deep when you’ve already given everything you have.
You’re not overreacting
If you’ve felt angry, numb, or jealous, that doesn’t make you ungrateful or bitter. It makes you human. If you’ve felt disconnected from your partner or your body, that’s common too. IVF often takes up so much space there’s little room left for anything else.
You might feel like you’re constantly “managing” your emotions just to stay functioning. That’s a kind of burnout most people don’t talk about.
What can help
Start by giving yourself permission to stop performing strength. You don’t have to be resilient every single day. You’re allowed to have limits.
If you can, talk to someone who understands this world- a therapist who works with fertility, a friend who’s been through it, or even a support group. You don’t have to keep it all contained. In fact, it’s nearly impossible to (and it’s definitely not that helpful!).
At Bloom Psychotherapy, we support individuals and couples through every part of the fertility process- the injections, the losses, the waiting, the not knowing. Don’t wait to access support. Usually this journey gets harder before it becomes easier. If you’re in Canada, book online or connect with our client coordinator today. Our team of reproductive psychotherapists is here to support you.
